Welcome to my life!
Appearances are deceiving. I'm naturally bubbly, positive, and outgoing which doesn't typically describe someone who lives with depression. The perception has always been that I have it all, which created feelings of shame. How is it possible that I have depression when I live such an incredibly blessed life?
For many years, this mindset caused loneliness, frustration, and barriers in my relationships. I became an expert at pretending and creating an illusion of perfection. It seemed easier than facing reality. But it wasn't... it was much harder.
After years in my struggle and silent shame, I've decided it's time to tell my story and hopefully help other women who are struggling too. Depression doesn't look the same for us all, and it doesn't discriminate against the type of life you live, what you're blessed with, or what things look like on the outside...
I want to create an entity where women in all stages of life can be part of a community where mental health, self-love, and vulnerability are normal and welcomed topics. Whether your life seems perfect to others, you're completely falling apart, or somewhere in between.
You're going to learn a lot about me here, and Im'a give it to ya straight... I'm honest, blunt, and real. But I'm also funny, playful, and full of love. Throughout my posts, I'll be sharing my journey to being the best me I can be. My struggles and my successes. Lessons I've learned, ideas, tips, and how I manage it all on the day to day.
Depression can be chemical, situational, or both. At some point, we will all probably struggle with some sort of depression. How we cope and learn to manage is what makes the difference for each one of us.
The way Hendrix says "mama" makes my heart feel like it might explode. It's the sweetest and most loving sound. Gabi calls me "mom" more now that she's a tween (insert sad face) but from time to time, "Mama" still slips. I'll take it when I can get it.
No matter how much time goes by without me being in the classroom, this title will always be a part of who I am. For ten years, I loved teaching, and teaching loved me.
I don't do anything small, I strive for perfection, and I'm always working on improving and being my best self, no matter what stage of life I'm in.
Seldom does Elias call me by my name. I've been "babe" for the last 20 years, and most recently, in the last 5 or 6, I became "Medina" when I don't hear the "babe." He says I'm quicker to respond because I associate it with teaching and am triggered to react. Haha!
I am imperfect, messy, and very much loved. Without my faith, without His love, I would be alone. There is no doubt in my mind or in my heart, that He walks with me each day.
If you ask the closest people to me to describe me using adjectives, this is what you'll get: sassy, but loving. moody, but kind, bougie, but funny, honest, and real.
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